On reality shows

“Those who can’t do – teach” (100% false)

“Those who can’t write – blog” (about 50/50)

“Those who have no business, whatsoever sharing any part of their pathetic lives, personalities, or thoughts with the rest of the world – appear on those god awful, moronic abominations which pollute the airwaves with their inane, insipid premises fostered by uninspired producers and network executives who are too cheap to hire real actors or find real writers with even a hint of creative talent who might be able to provide us with something that actually deserves to be called entertainment” (100% true, just not as catchy as the other two sayings)