On start of school illness

It never fails. Every year, a few weeks after the kids go back to school, I come down with a miserable cold/flu/virus. The symptoms are always pretty much the same. So much so, that I have named it the "phlegm disease". The name is self-explanatory.

It lasts for a couple of weeks during which I go through several boxes of tissues and a couple of bottles of cold remedy. It hasn't killed me yet, but there are always a few days when I almost wish it would. Last year, the "phlegm disease" morphed into an inner ear infection. Wow, that was bizarre. Every time I tried to stand up, the room would start spinning and I would get nauseous. It was all the bad parts of getting drunk without any of the fun parts.

I am hoping that some day, scientists will isolate the dreaded phlegmacocus virus and develop a vaccine. I would be happy to volunteer as a test subject. The way I feel right now, I could probably volunteer to be an autopsy subject.