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What is there to say? I'm not very interesting. I'm not a good writer. I don't even dress well. If you insist on knowing something about me just wander through the archives. It's all there.

Friday, June 17, 2005

On odd phrases, terms, and thoughts

I heard this on television last night.

“(They) represent two opposing views that are 360 degrees from each other.”

Pardon my math, but I believe that two viewpoints that are 360 degrees from each other would actually be the same viewpoint. Did they mean to say that the views were 180 degrees out of phase so that the sum was 360/0 degrees? If so, wouldn’t the viewpoints cancel each other out? Why bother to listen?

I read in the paper.

“…(the victim) died from a fatal gunshot wound.”

If he had survived the “fatal” gunshot wound, then I would be very impressed. I had never really noticed it before, but I have heard this phrase used a number of times. It does seem like an odd way to say it.

I saw this on a sign at a construction site.

Danger - Safety Zone!

As opposed to the more common, "Not To Worry - Deadly Hazard Zone!"

This was also in our morning paper.

“…(the legal standard) used is a “preponderance of evidence” which is a lesser standard than “beyond a reasonable doubt.”

If you look up the words “preponderance” and “reasonable”, then you would have to conclude that a preponderance of evidence would by definition certainly overwhelm any “reasonable” doubts. Why isn’t it the other way around?

A local hospital advertises.

“We offer the finest in ambulatory care.”

It seems like a strange way to describe non-emergency medical care. Can you arrive in an ambulance or do you have to walk there? Do they help you walk? Or do they simply care deeply about the way you walk? Do the doctors and nurses move in a leisurely amble while providing your ambulatory care? Does not caring where you go when you need non-emergency medical care an example of ambulatory ambivalence?

I heard this on a televised golf tournament.

"...that ball just fell sideways up the hill."

The PGA had apparently suspended the Laws of Gravity pending a decision by the Rules Committee.

This was written on the side of an orange juice container.

“99 and 44/100 % pure”

Ok, so what is the other .56 %? Residue from uranium processing? Pureed pig bladders? Discarded urine samples walked over from the ambulatory care center?

I heard this on a commercial.

"Listen now for your free offer."

I'm glad I didn't have to pay to listen to my offer. I haven't been to the bank yet.


I have to go now. They are describing what happened this morning on the noontime edition of the evening news.

3 Comments:

Blogger Adinah said...

have coffee tonight did we? I usually get like this when I drink coffee. Bet you sit with the local throw papers and a red pencil like I do......you can't spell it, you can't sell it......that's my motto.....
You are really a great writer and I really enjoy reading your posts!! Thanks!

17/6/05 12:39 AM  
Blogger HCaldwell said...

Thank you. Actually, these words were just a collections of notes that had gathered in my scrap bucket(file). I thought I would grind them up and make a sausage.

17/6/05 9:26 AM  
Blogger Adinah said...

well you are a fine sausage maker!

17/6/05 4:21 PM  

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