On tiny little keyboards

All right, confess. Whose brilliant idea are the tiny little keyboards that have become standard on numerous personal communication devices? When I try to compose an actual e-mail message on one of them, I find them to be nearly impossible to use. I would have to have been born with fingers the size of a squirrel's which had the flexibility of an octopus tentacle to type with any reasonable amount of speed. Is there conspiracy involved here? Have the spider monkeys of the world decided to upstage us as the dominant species on the Internet? It is an evolving investigation. The first time I get an e-mail message with the header, “(hoot) (hoot) (screech) oooh oooh oooh ahhh aaah ah ”, I will have my answer. The truth is out there.