On a trivial rant

There needs to be a word to describe a rant about a trivial matter. There are things that are annoying and deserve a rant, but in the grand scheme of things they are about as important as a chipmunk fart (These I would imagine might be important to other chipmunks in the vicinity, but I am speaking in the larger, non-rodent, sense here.) Perhaps, the word “trant” would fit the bill.

If so, I have a trant.

It seems like merchants should be held accountable for how they describe the merchandise that they sell. I had to go to the store to buy a new toaster. On one of the displays, they were selling “Digital Headphones”. These headphones were standard headphones consisting of two small speakers on headgear connected with small wires to a plug. They are about as un-digital (analog) as any device can possibly be. Headphone speakers are simply transducers that change ANALOG electrical signals into ANALOG sound waves. They don’t even have a digital display that one could use to stretch credulity to the point that the “digital” label might be said to apply. Because of the nature of headphones (and ears),I am not even sure if it is possible to make headphones that could legitimately be called “Digital Headphones”.

These were, most assuredly, not digital.

At the nearby home center, they were selling sections of picket fencing. It looked like a pretty standard picket fence except that the tops of the pickets had slightly curved points instead of straight angular points. The sign that was posted above it advertised it as “French Gothic" fencing . . .

Imagine me doing a “Classic Comedy Double-Take” and saying, “What!?!. . .”

Wouldn’t you know it, here I was looking for some “Norwegian Rococo” fencing, but they were fresh out.